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Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 7:42 pm
by Flexo
Let's do a thought experiment and run down how Trump's roundup of illegal immigrants will work:

  • So first off there are around 13 million undocumented by most counts. That is way to many to round up efficiently with just federal agents and local police. We'll need to use that rockin' US military of course.
  • Naturally, that means a State of Emergency will need to be declared because the Army can't operate on US soil without one. So curfews and checkpoints are in order to keep control and make sure you can "show your papers". Private property rights will of course need to be suspended because you never know, you could be harboring illegals and if you have nothing to hide you shouldn't care about an occasional search of your home.
  • Anyone protesting the checkpoints and private property intrusions will be dealt with as the military sees fit. We can never "tie the hands" of our soldiers to do what it takes to achieve the mission.
  • Our military is the best in the world, the best I tell ya! So, we'll have a lot of people in custody in just a few days. When we catch all these terrible miscreants it will be necessary to keep them under lock and key. Of course our prisons are already overcrowded with all the low level drug dealers and such so...
  • We'll need to build some inexpensive camps to keep these people concentrated until we can process them and throw them over the wall. Let's call them Collection Camps or something similar.
  • Unless of course we decide to just round up people that "look" to be illegal. It's pretty easy as most are of Latin American descent. We can just go ahead and round up anyone without papers that look to be ethnically linked to Latin Americans. Pretty soon you could cleanse the nation of the entire ethnicity and then with the wall that we're having Mexico build for us in place we'll be fine.

Please contribute your thoughts on the plan so far. We can forward this to President Trump when he gets elected so that he can get right on solving what is our absolutely most critical problem.

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:37 pm
by nBurn
Since this is an experiment on thought... clearly the answer here is to open up a Starbucks on every corner, offer sales on their pumpkin lattes during one specific time during the week and then have the police sweep the streets of anyone not at one of these establishments.

Later on, clearly a food truck will have to be modified as a Starbucks Beverage truck and each neighborhood will be ransacked accordingly. (To get out the stragglers.)

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 12:35 am
by Flexo
Uh Oh, I don't like coffee. I'm not sure I want to support your proposal.

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 12:06 pm
by kemon
i wish this wasn't on the public part of the forum. someone may find this and go, "hey, these are some good ideas."

also, didn't arizona try that last one already?

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 12:58 pm
by Flexo
Arizona was basically asking for "papers" from all the brown people. I don't know if they are still doing that or not.

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:37 pm
by Slider
perhaps we should start our world domination campaign as well ...

after all something like this about every century or so is a good thing, right?

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2016 2:31 am
by Dartt
still better then what Hilary is keeping hidden ;)

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2016 4:00 pm
by Flexo
As has been proven by exactly NONE of the dozens of hostile inquiries into Clinton affairs. But yeah, Hillary is horrible but at least she knows why we can't just pop off a few nuclear weapons.

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2016 4:26 pm
by Fiftysixk
Meanwhile up here in Canada:

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Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2016 4:34 pm
by STLYoungblood
Meanwhile, here in America:

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Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2016 9:59 pm
by TwitcheyTwitch
I can't stop laughing.
I see Hillary eating popcorn while watching America decline into chaos.
Then I see Trump dodging congress's political bombardment and foreign government past due notices...
And now I'm crying!
I Found the next President of the United States!
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Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:45 pm
by Rougarou
Giant Meteor 2016!

Oh, and I'm gonna leave this right here.

[X] Rekt
[ ] Not Rekt

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Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 3:50 pm
by Flexo
Clinton may have some physical health issues but they pale in comparison to Trump's mental health issues. Lest we forget that FDR had polio and wan wheelchair bound his entire looong presidency. Yes, he died in office but we have a line of succession that has done us well enough in that eventuality. I don't like Kaine but he's better than both Hillary and Trump by a long shot so... no worries.

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 4:27 pm
by Rougarou
Polio does not affect mental acuity. We don't know what caused Hillary's problems, due to the outright obfuscation/sleight of hand by her handlers.

Polio? Yeah whatever. Stroke? I'm gonna need a little more information than that. Early onset Alzheimers? As someone who's destiny is Alzheimers (3/4 grandparents afflicted, and 2 great-grandparents) I don't want anyone like that near the Oval Office. My great-grandmother nearly stuck a shiv in her caregiver, my mother. Why? My mother "stole her car"...that she hadn't owned in 15 years.

As much as I despise Hillary, I don't wish that kind of fate for her. It's such a terrible disease.

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2016 5:56 pm
by Fomites
Going to hop in late--

A GREAT HUUUUUUUGE SOUTHERN WALL jobs program would be a fraction of the cost of continuing Bipartisan ForeverWar. And, it wouldn't deliberately kill anyone... And, it would spur a whole lot of economic growth in the impoverished SouthWest, at very little comparative cost.

Put a bike trail, some services, and some camping sites along the Southern Huuuuge Great Wall Jobs Program, and you might even get a bunch of yuppies onboard :)

Deporting would go in stages, targetting violent folks first. Non-violent folks with American families should get some sort of re-entry preference, as should kids who have never known another home...who don't really need to go anywhere.

This boils down to a simple tenet of "don't be evil". As a democrat-ish (don't lecture me on on Constituional Republics...our governance is derived from the People) nation, we have every right to enforce immigration laws and discuss them. Go try to work in Mexico, lol...

What we should do, however, is punish severely employers (jail time!) who dip into shadow labor to skimp out on labor standards, reduce citizen's wages, exploit folks, and generally ****up the entire wage scale.

Get rid of under-the-table employers...then illegals will tend to go home, wages for unskilled laborers go up, and we get an entirely new class of people, earning more money, and newly worried about how their tax dollars are being spent!

There is no downside to penalizing employers who exploit shadow labor.

Re: Let's solve this immigration thing right now!

Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2016 6:39 pm
by Flexo
Make it illegal to hire an undocumented worker and the problem of new arrivals is virtually solved. Let the kids and parents with jobs have a short path to citizenship with work visas in the interim.

Wall building is stupid. People will just find another way. Overstaying tourist visas is like 45% of the problem and those people come on planes.